. Seniors Jokes.
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| I want to live my next life backwards: You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old age home feeling better every day. Then you get kicked out for being too healthy. Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension. Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work 40 years until you're too young to work. You get ready for High School: drink alcohol, party, and you're generally promiscuous. Then you go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, and you have no responsibilities. Then you become a baby, and then . . . You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in luxury, in spa-like conditions - central heating, room service on tap, and then... You finish off as an orgasm. I rest my case. |
| One Sunday morning, a mother went in to wake her son and tell him it was time to get ready for church, to which he replied, "I'm not going." "Why not?" she asked. "I'll give you two good reasons," he said. "One, they don't like me, and two, I don't like them." His mother replied, "I'll give YOU two good reasons why YOU SHOULD go to church. (1) You're 59 years old, and (2) you're the pastor!" |
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| Two elderly women were in a beauty parlor getting their hair done, when in walked a young chick with a low-cut blouse that revealed a beautiful rose tattooed on one boob. One woman leaned over to the other and said, "Poor thing. She doesn't know it, but in 50 years she'll have a long-stemmed rose in a hanging basket." |
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