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Your Divine Friend 
DR.BK.Satyanarayan

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Guilt, fear, OCD and Spirituality



Paresh had a pretty good childhood. His parents were loving and "normal," like most "good parents." Nevertheless, Paresh's father used to be very particular about certain aspects.

One day Paresh was walking barefooted around his father's room, then he jumped into that bed. His father immediately "pulled his ear," by telling Paresh that his feet were dirty and that he must not jump into a clean bed. Moreover, Paresh's dad was very particular about the ceremony of "washing hands" before eating and after touching anything that could have germs…
"Did you wash your hands?" was the ongoing question from his father.
Paresh learned about germs and the need to wash his hands after touching anything "dirty" for otherwise, to forget about it could be very contagious to others and potentially harmful for himself.
The seed for fear was created and for feeling guilty as well.
You wonder how is it possible for a human being to live when there are so many germs around us and inside us as well… :-)
Paresh's father was afraid that someone could break into his car. He used to double-check that his car was locked.
He double-checked that the door in his house was locked and that there was no light on inside or outside the house, to save electricity and his electric bill.
"Why is this light on?" was one of his recurrent questions…
Paresh's dad was a perfectionist as well, specially with Paresh.
What a great dad! He is always looking to save some money and concerned about cleanliness and security in his house… :-)
As Paresh became older, he developed the same insecurities and guilt since he was a highly "moral" person. Paresh felt guilt if he didn't comply to what his father has taught him. Paresh developed OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder.)
Paresh had some thoughts which provoked fear in him. Paresh needed to repeat his activities to make sure that everything was well done even though he was aware of doing the task "right."
Guilt was the feeling. Something "bad" could happen, someone could get a disease, or lose a belonging due to not checking enough.
The same obsessive behavior was latent in his religious practices. Paresh needed to pray to God 10 times every day so his sins could be absolved.
Paresh felt that God, the father; could punish him if he did not follow his prescribed routine. Paresh called that fear of being punished as "love to God."
Hell was waiting there for him unless he became a perfect "saint." :-)
This fear was in him already. Paresh needed to do things "perfect." Nothing but perfection. Otherwise, he could feel anxious, worried, fearful…
This fear of making "mistakes" was obvious in his life. Paresh wanted to change. He realized that this fear was just a ghost from the past, and he wanted to stop those repetitive actions, but he couldn't.
"From now on… I will not repeat my checking or any compulsive activities" he would promise himself.
But he failed… then he felt guilty… then he asked God for forgiveness which in turn meant to pray 10 times.
Paresh asked the guru how to liberate himself from this mental disease. The guru told him. "You just have to have will power and ask God to help you." "Just fight against that. Don't let that dominate you."
Paresh learned to fight for everything. Paresh learned to oppose, to reject.
After a long while of seeing his own "failure" and after asking so many times for forgiveness, Paresh decided to change his approach into a different way.
It was a great realization.
Paresh learned about not going into the opposites, the extreme polarities of things.
The world teaches us to oppose things, to reject. It is the fight of "evil against good." When we apply that teaching in ourselves to improve a habit, this only means to suffer mentally or physically the effects of that inner fight.
Paresh decided to use the "middle way" instead.
How is that?
Whenever Paresh felt that need to repeat things, he would stop and say to himself: " This tendency to repeat things is not mine. It belongs to my father. Let things be as they are." Then he would sit down and to pacify the feelings in his body, he would eat a candy and calm his martyred inner child's mind: "Things will be alright. Enjoy this candy instead." Then the feelings subdue.
Paresh used the same energy but channelized in a different way. There was no need to use "will power" to stop things but just to be aware.
Paresh learned that there was no need to reject or to fight against himself, but just to recognize that what he had learned many years ago was to feel guilty and that this feeling has made him feel that he does not deserve good things in life, but rather to be fearful by not doing things "right."
Spirituality is more than praying or asking for things. It is primarily about that inner discovery, that inner change through our own observation. There is a LOT to see in ourselves.
Someone who feels guilty and who is unable to perceive that guilt will not be able to live life to the fullest no matter what religious practice this person engages in or how "saintly" his life seems to be.
Guilt, fear and OCD will be there despite any external practice. Observation and openness by no rejecting or opposing things may be the greatest "spiritual tools" to experiment in life.
Free of charge... so guilt free.. :-)

--
Your Divine Friend 
DR.BK.Satyanarayan

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Posted by: Satya <heroactors@gmail.com>
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JAPANESE  COLORFULL  FISHES
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
carp koi coy fish
 
 
 
 
 
 

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Popeye Village, Malta

 

Self-respect

Self-respect is not a matter of what you are doing in your life, but rather of how you are doing it. It requires that you bring quality and virtue into each action, whatever that action may be.

 

 

 

 

Application of Knowledge

 

Knowledge is not just based on the information that we have. But it is
more to do with what we do with that information for enrichment. So the
one who with true knowledge is truly wise who has the discrimination
and the clarity about what to do in a particular situation. When I feel
helpless in any situation, let me just check what point of knowledge I
could use to make difference to the situation - to bring about some
improvement. When I begin to apply knowledge in this way I will be able
to enjoy each moment and do the right thing always.
 
 

 

The Triangle Of Spiritual Energy (cont.)


Referring to the last two days' messages, all three points of connection (connection with the self, of the self with the Supreme and of the self with others) are necessary for good emotional and spiritual health.

If I am only connected inwards, there is a great danger of arrogance and being lost in only myself. If I am only connected to the Supreme Source with little reference to myself, or others, there is the danger of becoming rigid, fanatical and unrealistic. If I am over-focused on others and on my relationships with others, thinking I will receive my happiness and sense of purpose from them, then a dependence is created, which results in conflict and disappointment.

When I do reconnect with the outside world, it can only be done effectively from the point of advantage of connection with the self and with the Supreme Source.

This three-point connection can be depicted in the form of a triangle with the self as a point (A), then the vertical movement upward to the Supreme Point (A to B), then the horizontal connection to others (A to C). Others need to have their own independent and personal connection with the Supreme Point to revitalize and renew their own consciousness (C to B). In this way, the triangle of harmonious energy (ABC) becomes complete.

(To be continued tomorrow ...)
 

 

Soul Sustenance

Discovering Inner Compassion (Kindness) – Part 2 



To really understand compassion, we have to experience it for ourselves. We can observe and admire others; we can even acknowledge that we have behaved compassionately on some occasions, but how do we develop the virtue of compassion inside us? If we can find a place of inner silence where we can slow down our thoughts and touch our deepest nature, we will discover that it is peaceful and compassionate. This is the source of our compassion and the more we experience it the more it will become part of our actions. Meditation reminds us that we are compassionate at our core. 



Most people can remember a compassionate act. It may be an everyday situation or something that stands out as very special. Examples may be sitting holding the hand of a distressed relative or friend, or simply smiling and being positive. Reflecting on such acts helps us to identify the qualities of compassion that a person may express, such as patience, tolerance, generosity and calmness. By thinking about acts of compassion and the people that perform them, we can begin to get a sense of what compassion means and, with further reflection, how we have shown these same qualities ourselves. 



We all use words in different ways to describe how we feel and what we mean, and the meaning can change in different settings. We need to come to some understanding of the word compassion, redefining it for ourselves. Compassion can mean simply kindness; it can mean patience, generosity, respect and understanding. Compassion is unconditional love. 

(To be continued tomorrow …) 
 

 

 

Message for the day

 

 

The one who sacrifices name and fame is the one who gets recognition. 

Expression: When we make a positive contribution we usually want to get recognition for it. We may not always say it in words but there is always an expectation that others should recognize our contribution. 

Experience: We need to make sure that we enjoy whatever we do. Since the task itself becomes enjoyable for us, we don't anymore expect recognition. The more we become free from expectations the more we get love from others and recognition too. 

--
Your Divine Friend 
DR.BK.Satyanarayan

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