<>_<>ZODIAK FUN-THURSDAY,MARCH29,2012<>_<>
You know nothing for sure...except the fact that you know nothing for sure.
JFK
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
After spending days learning to simultaneously pat your head and rub your tummy, you will move on today to patting your head and rubbing someone else's tummy.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Bad day to feed the Bengal tiger. Let someone else do it, today. Probably just an "off" batch of the Purina Tiger Chow, but why risk it?
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Beware of celery.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Today you will be either snug as a bug in a rug, or smug as a thug on a drug. Hard to say for sure.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
You look ridiculous in that. Go and change.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You will inherit millions, along with a rather elderly butler named Hodgson. You'll have a nice time.
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Noticing a picture on a colleague's desk, you will comment "I've never cared for those hairless cats". That might not be a good thing to say. Newborns can be a bit blotchy, and new parents can be a bit touchy...
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
A creature from the 7th dimension will become attached to your leg, and will be impossible to remove. Eventually, you'll simply get used to it.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
You will acquire a slight sniffle, today. (A sniffle is a cross between a dachshund and a cairn terrier, bred especially to spot helicopters.)
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You will meet someone who you haven't seen in a long time, and will barely recognize them. At least not without the spiked collar and the whip.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
You will invent an automated diaper changing device that looks a bit like a large mechanical squid. Parents will love them, but you'll need to do plenty of advertising before passers-by stop "rescuing" babies and beating the crap out of the machines. (Literally.)
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
Ever had one of those times when you ask someone "What are the crunchy things in the oatmeal?" and they say "Crunchy things?" Soon, you will.
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