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----- Forwarded Message -----
From: "cmkapoor@rogers.com" <cmkapoor@rogers.com>
To: Balbir Singh <om.pune@yahoo.in>; Lalit Mohan <lmohan41@hotmail.com>
Sent: Tuesday, 5 June 2012 8:16 AM
Subject: 4 adult jokes
Four Adult Jokes

 
 
Fourth Place
:
 

A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, 
his elbow goes into her breast.
 
They are both quite startled.
 

The man turns to her and says, 'Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, 
I know you'll forgive me.' 
She replies, 'If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221..'
 
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 


Third Place :
 
One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm.
 
The wife turns over and says 'I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh.'
 
The husband, rejected, turns over.
 
A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again.
 
'Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?'
 
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 


Runner Up:
 
Bill worked in a pickle factory...  

He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day 
to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion.  
He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer.  
His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed.  He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own.
 
One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong.
 
'What's wrong, Bill?' she asked.
 
'Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?'
 
'Oh, Bill, you didn't' she exclaimed.
 
'Yes, I did.' he replied.
 

'My God, Bill, what happened?' 

'I got fired.'
 
'No, Bill.  I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?'
 
'Oh...she got fired too.'
 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 

Winner:
 
A couple had been married for 50 years.
 
They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, 'Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.'
 
'I know,' the old man said.  'We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago..'
 
'Well,' Granny snickered.  'Let's relive some old times.'
 
Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table.
 
'You know, honey,' the little old lady breathlessly replied, 'My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.'
 
'I wouldn't be surprised,' replied Gramps.   'One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal
 
===============================================
 


 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
ALQURANIC Mail [The Ultimate Guide ALQURAN]
Assalam-u-Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu,
Forward this message to as many people you can.
 
 
Merit of Visiting the Sick, Feeding the Hungary, Providing Water to Thirsty
 
 
[Sahih Muslim : Book 32, Number 6232]

Abu Huraira   (Radi Allah Anhu)  reported Allah's Messenger (sal-allahu-alleihi-wasallam)  as saying: Verily, Allah, the Exalted and Glorious, would say on the Day of Resurrection:
"O son of Adam, I was sick but you did not visit Me. He would say: O my Lord; how could I visit Thee whereas Thou art the Lord of the worlds? Thereupon He would say: Didn't you know that such and such servant of Mine was sick but you did not visit him and were you not aware of this that if you had visited him, you would have found Me by him?
O son of Adam, I asked food from you but you did not feed Me. He would say: My Lord, how could I feed Thee whereas Thou art the Lord of the worlds? He said: Didn't you know that such and such servant of Mine asked food from you but you did not feed him, and were you not aware that if you had fed him you would have found him by My side?
(The Lord would again say: ) O son of Adam, I asked drink from you but you did not provide Me. He would say: My Lord, how could I provide Thee whereas Thou art the Lord of the worlds? Thereupon He would say: Such and such of servant of Mine asked you for a drink but you did not provide him, and had you provided him drink you would have found him near Me."


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WE LAUGH BUT HER PASSWORD IS SAFE!!no where to go, but up!
During a recent password audit by a company, it was found that an employee was using the following password:

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When asked why she had such a long password, she rolled her eyes and said:
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