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- Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to go to the rest room.
- Law of Gravity - Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
- Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
- Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
- Law of the Alibi - If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the very next morning you will have a flat tyre.
- Guy's Variation Rider - If you change queues or traffic lanes, the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now. This also works in supermarkets and shops.
- Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
- Decree of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. This is also the case if you are female and you have gone out with no makeup and wearing your worst clothes and with greasy hair.
- Murphy's Office Law - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. Will also finds this when he shows someone that something on the computer is easy and it doesn't work.
- Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
- Law of the Theatre - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
- The Starbucks Edict - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
- Murphy's Law of Lockers -If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
- Law of Physical Surfaces -The chances of an open-faced marmalade sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet.
- The Conundrum of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
- Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
- Oliver's Rule of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet. Will's favourite!
- Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
- Doctors' Law- If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.
- Will and Guy's Law - If you don't save things on your computer you will, sooner rather than later, delete them.
Godwin's Law (Also known as Godwin's Rule of Nazi Analogies)
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This Internet law was proposed by Mike Godwin back in 1990. His law states: "As a Usenet discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1 (certainty)".
Occam's Razor*
The simplest model is most likely to be correct. This is always true when we are dealing with unusual phenomena such as what created crop circles.
This principle of parsimony was developed by William of Occam. He states that a person should not increase, beyond what is necessary, the number of entities required to explain anything, or that the person should not make more assumptions than the minimum needed.
Blore's Razor* - Will and Guy's Favourite
Given a choice between two theories, take the one which is the funnier.
* Razor in the sense of 'Razor's edge', having to make a tricky decision.
Vaguely Related to Murphy's Law - The Totalitarian Principle
The Totalitarian Principle declares that anything which is not forbidden by any specific rule of physics, is required by law to occur, with no exceptions.
Whatever is not forbidden is compulsory.
The above is a form of what is called the Totalitarian Principle. The phrase was first used by physicist Murray Gell-Mann in reference to the laws that might be issued by a totalitarian government seeking full control over their citizens.&
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