«*» RUKHSANA«*» <>_<>u smile with me 104 <>_<>

 

 

<>_<>u smile with me 104 <>_<>

 

It's not hard to tell that She was poor--when you saw
the toilet paper dryin' on the clothesline.

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Doctor," a man told his psychotherapist, "My
wife uses her vibrator every evening and for a
long time. What should I do?"
"Well," replied the doctor, "Maybe you should
be more attentive to
her sexual needs and make love to her more often..."
"It's not that, "interrupted the man, "It's
just that the damn thing
interferes with the TV remote!"

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Suzanne sat down on a park bench, glanced around and decided to stretch out her legs on the seat and relax.

After a while a beggar came up to her and said, "Hey baby, how about us going for a walk together."

"How dare you," she replied, "I'm not one of your cheap pickups!"

"Well then," said the beggar, "what are you doing in my bed?

The 82-year-old man went to the doctor for a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw the guy walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.

A couple of days later, the doctor saw the guy again and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"

"Just doing what you said, Doc. 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'"

"What I said was, 'You've got a heart murmur. Be careful.'

 

 

A Dieter's Prayer

Lord, my soul is ripped with riot 

I incited by my wicked diet.

"We Are What We Eat," said a wise old man 

And Lord, if that's true, I'm a garbage can.

I want to rise on Judgment Day, that's plain!

But at my present weight, I'll need a crane.

So, grant me strength that I may not fall

Into the clutches of cholesterol.

May my flesh with carrot-curls be dated,

That my soul may be poly unsaturated.

And show me the light that I may bear witness 

To the President's Council on Physical Fitness.

And at margarine, I'll never mutter

For the road to Hell is spread with butter.

And cream is cursed; and cake is awful;

And Satan is hiding in every  waffle.

Mephistopheles lurks in provolone;

The Devil is in each slice of baloney.

Beelzebub is a chocolate drop,

And Lucifer is a lollipop.

Give me this day my daily slice

But, cut it thin and toast it twice.

I beg upon my dimpled knees,

Deliver me from jujubees.

And when my  days of trial are done,

And my war with malted milk is won,

Let me stand with Heavenly throng,

In a  shining robe, size 10 long.

I can do it Lord, If You'll show to me,

The virtues of lettuce and celery.

If You'll teach me the evil of mayonnaise,

Of pasta a la Milannaise,

Potatoes a la Lyonnaise,

And crisp, fried chicken  from the South.

Lord, if you love me, shut my mouth!