<>_<>LAFF WITH ME101<>_<>
Two Southern belles were having a picnic in a park. The first one says, "See my new diamond ring? My husband bought it for me."
The second one says, "Oh, that's nice! That's really, really nice!"
The first one says, "And see that shiny new Jaguar parked over there? My husband bought it for me."
The second one says, "Oh, that's nice! That's really, really nice!"
The first one says, "And you know that big white house at the top of the hill? My husband is gonna buy that for me."
The second one says, "Oh, that's nice! That's really, really nice!"
The first one says, "Oh my stars, here I am, going on and on about myself! Tell me, what does your husband do for you?"
The second one says, "Well, my husband sent me to charm school."
The first one says, "Charm school? Why on earth would he do that?"
The second one says, "Because I used to say, 'Who gives a fuck,' but now I say, 'Oh, that's nice! That's really, really nice!'"
The second one says, "Oh, that's nice! That's really, really nice!"
The first one says, "And see that shiny new Jaguar parked over there? My husband bought it for me."
The second one says, "Oh, that's nice! That's really, really nice!"
The first one says, "And you know that big white house at the top of the hill? My husband is gonna buy that for me."
The second one says, "Oh, that's nice! That's really, really nice!"
The first one says, "Oh my stars, here I am, going on and on about myself! Tell me, what does your husband do for you?"
The second one says, "Well, my husband sent me to charm school."
The first one says, "Charm school? Why on earth would he do that?"
The second one says, "Because I used to say, 'Who gives a fuck,' but now I say, 'Oh, that's nice! That's really, really nice!'"
=====
A man answers the phone and has the following conversation: "Yes,
mother, I've had a hard day. Gladys has been most difficult - I know I
ought to be more firm, but it is hard. Well, you know how she is. Yes,
I remember you warned me. I remember you told me that she was a vile
creature who would make my life miserable and you begged me not to
marry her. You were perfectly right. You want to speak with her? All
right."
He looks up from the telephone and calls to his wife in the next room,
"Gladys, your mother wants to talk to you!"
mother, I've had a hard day. Gladys has been most difficult - I know I
ought to be more firm, but it is hard. Well, you know how she is. Yes,
I remember you warned me. I remember you told me that she was a vile
creature who would make my life miserable and you begged me not to
marry her. You were perfectly right. You want to speak with her? All
right."
He looks up from the telephone and calls to his wife in the next room,
"Gladys, your mother wants to talk to you!"
=====
While attending a marriage seminar on communication, Jim and his wife listened to the instructor declare: "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other."
He addressed the men: "For instance, gentlemen, can you name your wife's favorite flower?"
Jim leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "Pillsbury All-Purpose, isn't it?"
The rest of the story is not pleasant.
He addressed the men: "For instance, gentlemen, can you name your wife's favorite flower?"
Jim leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "Pillsbury All-Purpose, isn't it?"
The rest of the story is not pleasant.
=====
A disgusting young man named McGill,
Made his neighbors exceedingly ill,
Because of his habits,
Involving white rabbits,
And a bird with a flexible bill
Made his neighbors exceedingly ill,
Because of his habits,
Involving white rabbits,
And a bird with a flexible bill
=====
MISS WADE
I love Miss Wade
Who teaches third grade
At P.S. 541.
I'd gladly trade
My frog for Miss Wade
'Cause Miss Wade looks like much more fun.
Miss Wade doesn't hop,
Miss Wade doesn't croak,
And flies you won't see her catch,
But I'd rather swap
My frog for a poke
Into Miss Wade's lascivious snatch
I love Miss Wade
Who teaches third grade
At P.S. 541.
I'd gladly trade
My frog for Miss Wade
'Cause Miss Wade looks like much more fun.
Miss Wade doesn't hop,
Miss Wade doesn't croak,
And flies you won't see her catch,
But I'd rather swap
My frog for a poke
Into Miss Wade's lascivious snatch
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