«*» RUKHSANA«*» The Trouper

 

 

 

 

The Trouper
by Val "Raindrop" Worby (Clown)

They each came here with someone,
But I came here on my own.
Each came with a spouse, lover, family
But I walked here alone.

Yet I'm one of the reasons they're here,
Part of the show they came to see
We don't know each other yet,
But they're here because of me.

And as I give my performance,
The well-rehearsed routine
Unites stage and auditorium,
With no gulf between.

Amid the tinsel glitter,
And the blazing light
We are part of each other's worlds,
And this little star burns bright.

In their world
I play my part so well,
No chip in the veneer,
No crack in the shell.

The smooth dances, the glib joke,
Always there to hide
A very different me
Which lurks somewhere inside.

Ever ready with a cheerful song,
Another witty gag;
For ever able to pull yet another trick
From out of the bag.

To them I'm the eternal joker,
Always the carefree clown;
They only see me flying high,
They've gone when I come down.

As I share myself with them,
Our two worlds become one,
Briefly united.....
Then it's gone, it's done.

I give to them of my small talent,
They give their applause to me,
And then the curtains close,
That's how it will always be.

I leave the stage with it's warmth and light,
For the dressing room, cold and stark,
With it's faded, grimy walls,
And one naked bulb, scarcely warding off the dark.

The dusty shelves, the wobbly chair,
And the old mirror, freckled with age,
Which barely reflects the greasepaint mask
I hid behind on stage.

Perhaps tonight I'll have a pint
With a colleague from the show,
Exchanging yarns and small talk
With someone I'll never really know.

Or perhaps I'll just return alone,
To the dismal gloom,
The single electric bar
In my cheap rented room.

Not the smart hotel for me,
Not the cheerful bustle of a wine bar -
You can't afford that
When you're a very little star.

When you have nothing behind the smiles,
And the artificial pleasantries,
But long-lost dreams,
And half-forgotten memories.

In a world of maybe,
And if only,
And -  -  - oh, God!
I'm so very, very lonely