The Importance of Oral Communication : Why we need to express our selves properly ?
Few months back I was adressing an audience, with a majority of non Muslims. In my content I touched the status of parents in Islam and drew the attention of the audience as to why we should talk to our parents and lsiten to them attentively, specially when they grow old. "It is not a generation gap but a communcation gap that digs a deep valley between the two generations. We hurry to put on wattsap and facebooks our updates but our parents remain unaware about our whereabouts and acheivements" I insisted. In the question and answer sessions a young man got up and argued, " My father is a rich man and I need an I-phone, he doesn't buy one for me, because he does not know the benefits of I-phones, and this ignorance is due to generation gap and not a communication gap".
I replied, " How did you know the usefulness and the importance of the I-phone ? But naturally you must have visited the shop and the salesman must have explained you in detail and that too in a polite manner the way salepeople are trained to do " . The young man agreed. I ocntinued, " Did you use the same appraoch towards your father in convincing about your need or you just demanded?" The man smiled and sat down. Later on after the progam was over an old man came to me and pressed my hands and said: Good said! He was my son.
One of the prime reasons why many marriages fail or many couples just drag their lives staying together is a pause in communication between the spouses. Most of the time due to ego. It even happens within our families too. When two brothers fight , they refuse to talk for months and years. How ever a popular Hadith tells a different thing: Who ever is loved by Allah more, between the two, will get a tawfiq to greet first ( and patch up). This is sila rahmi, joining of ties. Mark well that there are two common types of breaking your ties. One is to quarrel and to severe your ties, the other is to ignore the people around you either of arrogance or taking people for granted. Most of us fall into the second category. Though we love each other yet we dont talk and communicate enough. A newly married husband will make regular calls from his office and surprises his wife with small token of affections thorugh gifts but after a couple of kids , though he still loves her dearly but he lack expressing it.
Consdier this: When you were young, you refused to leave your mother even for a moment and you had hundreds of questions to ask your parents, and most of them were silly. But when you grow up you are busy with your own job, wife and kids that your dont find time even to visit your mother even for weeks though she stays closeby. Or you are a mother in law and your newly wed daugther in law finds is difficult to adjust in the world of your house. She is shy to talk or doenst know the rules of your house and she errs or breaks your age old family rules of making breaksfasts and steps out of protocal whl visiting relatives. She needs to be communicated.
As a salesman, or as a teacher, or any profession you are into , you have to talk to your customers till they agree. As a teacher you have to tolerate other people's children for hours every day and talk to them, but at home you are nowhere in talking with your own chidlren! This communications gaps is widenen due to the intervening of media. We are busy with our wattsap and facebooks while our parents are busy with their favourite TV programs. While the Qur'an declares : Allamahul Bayan He,( Ar Rahman, Allah the Most Merciful) has taught man to communicate.. ...we still remain dumb with our near and dear one.. Think about it..
Author Nisaar Nadiadwala can be reached at nisaar_yusuf@yahoo.com
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