*Few Jokes*
At a dinner party, the speaker who was the guest of honour was about to deliver his speech when his wife, who was sitting at the other end of the table, sent him a piece of paper with the word "KISS" scribbled on it.
A guest seated next to the speaker said, "It looks like your wife has sent you a kiss for good luck. She must love you very much."
The speaker replied, "You don't know my wife. The letters stand for "Keep it short, stupid."
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Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.
Project Manager is a Person who thinks nine women can deliver a baby in One month.
Consultant is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a Baby.
Site Engineer is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.
Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.
Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.
Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources.
Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.
Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with a delivered baby.
Third party auditor is a person who always tells that this is not the Right baby.
HR Manager is a person who thinks that... a Donkey can deliver a Human Baby - if given 9 Months !!!
............
A man checks into his hotel on a business trip and, feeling a bit lonely, he thought, I'll call one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths
when you're calling for a cab.
............
A man checks into his hotel on a business trip and, feeling a bit lonely, he thought, I'll call one of those girls you see advertised in phone booths
when you're calling for a cab.
He looked in a phone booth near the hotel and found an ad for a girl calling herself Eroveronique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo.
She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs..... well, you get the picture!
He copied the phone number and returned to his hotelm when back in the room he figures, what the heck, give her a call.
'Hello,' the woman says......... God, she sounded se*y.
'Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you.
I'm in town all alone and what I really want is se*. I want it hot, and I want it now.
Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks.
We'll go ho* and heavy all night; tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything you want! Now, how does that sound?'
She says, 'That sounds fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line.
.................
The INNOCENT BLONDE
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The INNOCENT BLONDE
A young blonde, having just returned from a great week-long vacation in South America, walked into the local bank and asked about exchanging currency. The teller said he would try to help her. After she plopped a huge wad of bills onto the counter, the teller then counted it, made a phone call, and returned to count out $27.18. The wide-eyed woman gasped. "You mean to tell me that's all I get for that mountain of bills?" "I'm afraid so Miss," replied the teller, "That's the current rate of exchange according to our foreign exchange section." "Good Grief!" she hissed, "and I gave that cheap skunk breakfast, too!"
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