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Humorscope~Friday, June 29, 2012
`Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
Inigo Montoya in The Princess Bride
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You will discover a large deposit of gold, when you're out on a stroll. Unfortunately, wealth will not make you happy.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Crisply salute everyone you meet today. They'll all be startled into saluting back, and then they'll feel like idiots. You should then smile charmingly at them, and saunter off.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
If you act now, you could be the first on your block to have an actual moat and a working drawbridge. Something to consider.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
You may lose sight of what is truly important to you, if you're not careful. In other words, it not whether you win or lose, it's whether you end up with your leg in a cast for 3 months.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Good time to consider capitalizing on the wave of 70's nostalgia that is sweeping the land. Why not try making shag carpeting? At least you should sit around in your beanbag chairs and discuss it.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
You might have that mole on your back checked out. It may actually be a gopher.
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Today, by practicing for hours in the mirror, you will finally be able to keep a "stiff upper lip". Much to everyone's surprise, it will prove to be an excellent boost to your career.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Someone named Tyrone is about to sell you a vacuum cleaner. There's nothing much you can do about it, I'm afraid.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
You will receive a "Dear John" letter from a loved one today, but much to your relief, your name isn't "John".
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Excellent day to just walk down the street, going "Doo wah ditty, ditty dum ditty doo". I'd stop short of taking a walk on the wild side, though.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Today you will be seized with the urgent desire to buy a harmonica, which you will take everywhere with you, on one of those coat-hanger thingies around your neck.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You will spend a lot of time contemplating four-dimensional space. Unfortunately, you'll keep getting distracted by things popping into non-existence around you.
Rose!
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