"Hi, what r u doing Darling?"
Wife: I'm dying..!
Husband jumps with joy but types "Sweet
Heart, how can I live without U?"
Wife: "U idiot! I'm dying my hair.."
Husband: "Bloody English Language!
. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .
Angry wife to her husband 0n Phone:
"Where d Hell Are You ...?"
Husband: Darling You Remember That Jewellery Shop, Where You Saw The Diamond Necklace n Totally Fell In Love With It n I Didn't Have Money That Time n I said "Baby It'll Be Yours 1 Day ... "O:)
Wife, With A Smile & Blushing: Yeah I Remember That My Love!
Husband: I 'm in the Pub Just Next To That Shop
. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .
A Special Package for Business Men.
An Airline Introduced A Special Package For Business Men.
Buy Ur Ticket Get Ur Wife's Ticket Free.
After Great Success, The Company Sent Letters To All The Wives Asking How Was The Trip.
All Of Them Gave A Same Reply..."Which Trip?"
. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .
Husband was seriously ill.
Doc to wife: Give him healthy breakfast, be pleasant & in gud mood, don't discuss ur problems, no tv serial, don't demand new clothes & gold jewels. Do this for 1 yr & he will be ok.
On the way home.. Husband: what did the doc say ?
Wife:- .No chance for u to survive
. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .
An intelligent wife Is One Who Makes Sure She Spends So Much
That Her Husband Can't Afford Another Women"
. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .
Woman Buys A New Sim Card Puts It In Her Phone And Decides To Surprise Her Husband Who Is Seated On The Couch In The Living Room.
She Goes To The Kitchen, Calls Her Husband With The New Number:
"Hello Darling"
The Husband Responds In A Low Tone:
"Let Me Call U Back Later Honey, The Dumb Lady Is In The Kitchen..
. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .
A Wife Treats Hubby By Taking Him To A Lap Dance Club For His Birthday ..
At The Club: Doorman Says: Hi Jim How R You?
Wife Asks: How Does He Know You?
Jim Says: Oh Dear, I Play Football with Him
Inside Barman Says: The Usual Jim ?
Jim Says To Wife: Before You Say Anything, He's On the Darts Team in My Local
Next A Lap Dancer Says: Hi Jim
Do You Crave Special Again?
The Wife Storms Out Dragging Jim With Her & Jumps Into A Taxi..
Driver Says "Hey Jimmy Boy, You Picked Up An Ugly One This Time.."
Jim's Funeral Is On Sunday
. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .
Dear Mother-in-law,
"Don't Teach me how 2 handle my children, I'm living with one of yours & he needs a lot of improvement"
. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .
A kid was beaten by his mom.
Dad came n asked - what happen son?
Kid said-I can't adjust with your wife anymore,
I want my own.
. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .
In an African Safari, A LION suddenly bounced on Santa's wife.
WIFE: Shoot him! Shoot him!
SANTA: Yes, Yes. I'm changing d battery of my camera..
. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .
Husband was throwing knives on wife's picture.
All were missing the target!
Suddenly he received call from her "Hi, what r u doing?"
His honest reply, "MISSING U"
. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .
When a married man says "I'll think about it",
What he really means that,
He doesn't know his wife's opinion yet..
. . . . . .. . . .. . . .
A Lady to Doctor: My husband has habit of talking in sleep! what should I give him to cure?
Dr: Give him an Opportunity to speak when he is awake
. . . . . .. . . .. . . .
Having "WIFE" Is A Part Of Living...
But Having "GIRLFRIEND" Along With The "WIFE" Is Art Of Living.
. . . . . .. . . .. . . .
It is said that Husband is the head of the family,
but remember that wife is the Neck of the family & the Neck can turn the Head exactly the way she wants.
. . . . . .. . . .. . . .
Wife: Do you want dinner?
Husband: Sure, what are my choices?
Wife: Yes and no.
. . . . . .. . . .. . . .
What is the Difference between Mother & Wife?
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying...
& the other ensures U Continue to do so.
. . . . . .. . . .. . . .
Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success for becoming a millionaire?"
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."
Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman.
Millionaire: "Ta, I was a Billionaire before I married her"
. . . . . .. . . .. . . .
Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Darling: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.
Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Darling: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem Can there be greater than this one?
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Wife: honey, what r u looking 4?
Husband: nothing
Wife: why have u been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour?
Husband: i was just looking 4 the expiry date
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
Husband asks: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means...
Without Information, Fighting Everytime!
WIFE says: No darling, it means:
With Idiot For Ever
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
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