Looking for Love in All the Cyberplaces
Adults can be college-aged, or grandparents. They can be parents and someone's child. But when they are single (or newly single), they have something important in common - they are looking for love. And in the last decade, many have been turning to online dating services to look for love in all the cyberplaces.
Many have found love online, or at least some entertaining diversions. But enough have also been hurt, blackmailed, stalked, manipulated and defrauded that we all need to understand how to conduct our online romances in safer ways. So, feel free to look for love. Just be careful and follow our pointers. Look for love, not trouble, online. Basic safety tips for online dating: - Find a reputable online dating service. "Single and looking" chat rooms can be unpleasant places.
- Choose an non-identifiable screen name (and keep it clean - otherwise you are asking for the wrong sort of attention).
- Never give out any personal information at the beginning and when you are ready to tell someone your real name and/or where you live - stick to first names only and be vague about your address (just your state/province is enough - they aren't coming for dinner - just yet - so they don't need to know your how to find your house).
- Use a toss-away free email account or anonymous remailers offered by online dating services.
- Block your cell phone number or consider buying a prepaid cell phone that can't lead anyone back to you.
- When you are ready to chat online, outside of dating site - use seperate e-mail and IM accounts for online dating.
- You can feel as if you really know your new cyberdate but don't be in a rush to meet them offline and don't let them rush you.
- When you decide to take it beyond the intro email, try using a webcam (but keep your clothes on!) They show you what and who you are getting better than a doctored or old image.
- Everyone lies a little. But if they lie about important things, move on to someone more honest.
- Keep an open mind, people online can be somewhat selective with the truth about age, weight etc.
- Do not rely on a photograph. It could be an old picture or a picture of someone else entirely.
- When you are ready to take things a step further, start with a telephone call and either block your number or use a public phone.
- When you do meet, do it in daylight, with a friend, in a very public place and tell someone where you are going.
- Never leave or go home with them. Take it slow. Get to know them offline all over again.
- Make sure you know how to save copies of your online dating conversations.
- Pay attention to more than the sweet-talk. If facts don't line up, it's probably not going to change for the better.
- Remember your Netiquette and be nice! Just because someone is not your ideal match, it doesn't give you the right to be horrible to them.
If you are looking for cyberdating networks that WiredSafety has reviewed, check out our Cyberdating Networks page. If you are looking for suggestions for tools and technologies that will help you stay safer while cyberdating, visit our Cyberdating Tools and Technology page. For those looking for help or support in addressing a cyberdating problem, cyberstalking or harassment, visit our WiredSafety Help Center. Know more about your rights by visiting our Cybercrime and Law Section and consdier taking a Safer Cyberdating Class at WiredCampus. WARM REGARDS, Akhtar khatri
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