I saw a pretty woman wearing a sweat shirt with "GUESS" written on it. So with an opportunity
to flirt I approached her, smiled and said,
"IMPLANT". She hit me so hard that I now need
an entire body implant.
Rejected totally by Girls in my life, after marriage my opportunities have flourished. Suddenly my wife's relatives are romancing me.
I was wondering how come only two people are running for president of USA and fifty people for miss America?
Fat me I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. Damn you If I HAD any loose fitting clothing why would I sign up for weight loss class!
Mess up like me, I wish our life had three buttons, "CONTROL, ALT AND DELET" like PC, press together, forget all past and start all over again?
I got caught arguing on full moon night with another friend. I firmly and talentedly argued it was night and he said it was day. Boy he sure won, people now call me an Idiot like him.
Oh lord, these brain cells you gave me!
They developed and vanished, but I now have to live with my ever growing fat cells.
You know that bully boy bobby of our school who he never could learn to read Bible, but now in prison he has become an expert bible reader.
Bumper sticker of the year:
"If you can read this, thank a teacher,
and, since it's in English, thank Britisher "
Life is like a toilet paper unrolls faster
when it comes towards end.
Dunking Dull's Humor
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