Had I been able to talk frankly with a divorced person about the devastating aftermath, I may not have gone through with my divorce. But I did not have anyone to warn me, to tell me I was stupid, to counsel me. My friends went along with the "women are victims" ideology of the day and encouraged my divorce. Not that any of it was anyone's fault but mine. In the end, I pulled the trigger alone. But even though I did not have the advantage of human counsel, I was not without guidance. I received warnings against what I was about to do in many dreams. I believe the warnings were from God. In one of the more memorable dreams I was warned about the deep depression that would follow my mistake. I could feel the mental anguish in the dream, but it wasn't until a few years later that I felt it in real life. By then it was too late because I had ignored the warning. In another dream I was driving to work with hair not yet dry from the shower and fretting that I wasn't ready. I was stuck on a fast expressway and looking for an exit, feeling that I wasn't ready and was unable to control the car. At the last minute I found an exit and got off the expressway. Too bad I ignored that dream. There were many, many warning dreams and I ignored them all. After it was all over, I had another dream. In it I was standing outside of a church immediately next to my old house….the last home I had with my husband. There is no church there in real life. I was with someone, a male I think, and I said that I had never noticed a church right next to my house. He answered, "It was there all along, but you never noticed it." For those of you who are allergic to God, I saved this page for last so you would read all of my warnings first. But this is the most important page of this site. I never asked for God's help or guidance before or during my divorce. He gave it to me anyway in the form of dreams, but I didn't listen. We receive forgiveness if we accept Jesus as our savior and turn away from the sin, but we must still pay the penalty, just as a murderer must do his time before he is received back into the community. I am paying heavily, heavily for my sin. I hate it, but I accept it and I know I deserve it.
WARM REGARDS, Akhtar khatri
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