COURT COMEDIC CONVERSATION
DINESH VORA
[1]ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
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[2]
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
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[2]
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
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[3]
ATTORNEY: Now doctor , isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep , he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
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[3]
ATTORNEY: Now doctor , isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep , he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
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[4]
ATTORNEY: The youngest son , the 20-year-old , how old is he?
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[4]
ATTORNEY: The youngest son , the 20-year-old , how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20 , much like your IQ.
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[5]
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
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[5]
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
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[6]
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[6]
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
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[7]
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[7]
ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS:
None.ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
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[8]
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
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[8]
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
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[9]
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
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[9]
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
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[10]
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
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[10]
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
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[11]
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
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[11]
ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them.. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
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[12]
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral , OK? What school did you go to?
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[12]
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral , OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
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[13]
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
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[13]
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not , he was by the time I finished.
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[14]
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
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[14]
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
COURT COMEDIC CONVERSATION
DINESH VORA
DINESH VORA
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