<>_<>The dancing stars in your daily life <>_<>
When I go to peoples' houses I like to sneak into their bedrooms and try on their underwear.
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Good day to buy lava lamps at garage sales. Once in a life-time opportunity. Also, if you happen to spot a white 100% polyester leisure suit with bell-bottom pants and a really large lapel, buy it on the spot. I know *I* would love to have one.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
Excellent time to show the world that plaid and stripes do too mix. (Tip #12 of Arnold Pinknobble's "How To Get Noticed.")
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
That new employee seems honest, and is a really hard worker - so who cares if she wants to wear a studded dog collar? You'll have to draw the line at butt sniffing, though.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
Today you will finally reach the breaking point, since that incessant pounding from your new neighbour's place is driving you nuts! You will storm over there, but what you find will be very bad news indeed. Your new neighbour is the Energizer Bunny.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Today you'll try the old "goat in a box" trick, on your new boss. It'll backfire, though, and you'll be the one with the clown shoes.
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
A very pudgy cat will annoy you, today.
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
You will be misidentified, on national TV, as a renowned ichthyologist. Several people will call you, long distance, to ask about the mating habits of Tilapia.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Excellent time to hum popular songs, just slightly off key. If you do that long enough, the people around you will change in appearance. You'll be able to see the veins in their neck, for one thing.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
A coworker is going to steal one of your best ideas and claim it as his own. That's about what you should expect, though, from a cow "orker".
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You will soon accidentally discover why it is that so many things "taste like chicken". It's because they ARE chickens, in clever disguises.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Why did life develop in this fragile boundary between earth and sky? Because life exists at the edge of chaos. You'll find that is particularly true, this week.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You're fussing with your hair too much. Perhaps you should temporarily cut back on shampoo. Or at least demand real poo.
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