Clear Thinking - Force to Power

We live in a world where force is cultivated and celebrated in almost all areas of society - the force of the warmongers, of political movements, of religious zealotry, of economic manipulation, of environmental exploitation, of media hype, of sporting success.  Our worship of speed almost guarantees an extremely unrelaxed life as we try to force our way into the future faster today than we did yesterday!  That, in turn, requires we force more energy out of the natural world to sustain our addictions to speed and superficiality over substance and value. The invasive force of entertainment, and the advertising that comes with it, is essentially about people using emotional manipulation to force us to create more emotions of our own to which we ourselves become addicted. Most fictional narratives projected by the dramas of movies and television are about people trying to force others to do what they want!  As a consequence we learn that life is, by definition, an exercise in forcefulness.  We learn that success has to be, can only be, the result of force! The force of marketing has, as it's mission, to make us believe that we want what we don't need! Their business is to continuously try to force our perceptions and aspirations into a place where they can manipulate our decisions.  Power, on the other hand, is exercised when we decide not to succumb mentally and emotionally to such forces.  Power is our own capacity to discern and to 'see through' the attempted manipulations of others.  Power is exercised when we are able to remain calm and uninfluenced by the emotional exhortations projected at us through the many windows of a media driven world.  Power is exercised when success is realized to be the mastery of our state of being, and not just an other achievement in the world.  We obviously can't control those many external forces that attempt to invade and shape our lives. We can only make choices about how we will live our own life day-by-day, moment-by-moment, in relation to such forces.  And we do have choices at almost every moment.  Here are the four other crucial shifts from 'force to power' in the ways that we use our energies in our own personal life. 5  The Shift from Taking to Giving We are all on the take!  Well maybe not all of us, not all of the time, not in all situations, but 'taking' is the deeply inherited programming most of us seem to have assimilated.  Believing life is 'for the taking' and things have to be grabbed while you can, underpins many of our forceful ways of living. Opportunities should be 'taken' when they come, another person should be 'taken' into your life, money should be 'taken' to live life, things should be 'taken' to create a comfortable life, are all beliefs that guarantee we will try to force life itself to deliver unto us exactly what we want, mostly justified as what we need! Some enlightened souls have realized that always thinking about what 'I want' and always trying to get, acquire, possess and accumulate for me, is only going to lead to the 'misery emotions' such as anxiety, tension, disappointment and anger.  Not to mention the pressure to maintain the flow of our accumulations.  They have glimpsed the truth, which reminds us we are not here to take but to give of our self, extend our being, share our energies.  It's nature's way. They would say that 'to give' is human natures primary impulse. They have realized the 'power of giving' and that paradoxically it's only in true giving that real love is generated and known.  It's in that loving state that we also find the sense of authentic security that many of us mistakenly seek from 'things' and people in the world.  They claim that the love of giving and giving with love empowers ones self from inside out. 6  The Shift from Condemnation to Compassion We don't tend to notice how unrelaxed we become whenever we judge and condemn another person or some far-flung event.  Even if it's just something or someone you see on TV.  It's not easy to see why and how judgment can be such a forceful state.  We can be so quick to condemn the crimes of others, the emotions of others, the decisions of others, the smallest actions of others.  Our judgment and subsequent condemnation blind us to the reality that others make mistakes, usually due to unwise decisions simply because they have temporarily lost access to their own wisdom.  They have a programmed set of beliefs in their head, usually from their childhood yesterday, that is shaping their actions today.  But we don't 'see' that, we can't see that, as we projectively force our judgments at them. Whenever we condemn not only do we make our self peaceless, we suffer from an unhappiness based on our doomed attempt to force others to see it, do it, be it, according to 'my way'!  It doesn't matter how right we may believe we are, it is still a form if arrogance.  And it's all happening in our own heads.  Compassion has no chance of entering our consciousness, at least until the emotions behind our judgmental condemnation are dissolved.  The power of compassion arises from acceptance and understanding.  It arises when we stop trying to judge and fix others and the world in our own minds and realize that 'the all' and 'the everything' out there, while far from perfection, is unfolding as it does, as it will, as it 'should'.  And that any form of violence by others is not a reason to condemn, but an opportunity to understand that it's just a sign that they are asleep, unaware and unenlightened, and in a state of internal suffering within themselves.   It's not so easy to see, in the moments when we judge, that our condemnation is itself a form of violence. 7  The Shift from Positional Power to Relational Power Position actually means 'power' to many.  Some realize that as soon as they use their position to get something done, or attempt to manipulate another, they are using force and therefore diminish their power! We all know those moments when we are on the end of someone using 'positional power'.  They are attempting to force us to do or be something that they want for themselves.  They will usually threaten us with consequences. We soon switch off within the relationship and may even eventually move away from them. 'Relational power', on the other hand, is built on an acceptance of the other.  It becomes the ground for cultivating mutual trust and respect.  These are the strands between people through which there is an exchange, a reciprocal flow of energy, that is empowering for both parties.  They form a relational foundation that doesn't shake whenever adversity calls.  Positional power is based on a form of attempted control 'over' the other.  Relational power is power 'with' the other.   It provides the basis for a stable and loving relationship that is capable of co-operating, co-creating and co-sustaining all that may be generated and shared by both parties.  7 The Shift from Beliefs to Values Force is to live by a set of learned beliefs and to attempt to impose those beliefs on others.   Whereas power is to consciously realize your values and allow your values to guide your decisions and actions, without imposing them on others. For example, do you 'believe' in competition and therefore sustain a competitive culture?  If you do you are using a forcefulness that is driven by the draining energy of fear – the fear of losing.  Or do you 'value' co-operation and therefore inspire unity of action.  If so then you are using the empowering energies of love. Where there is co-operation there is unity and where there is unity there is love!  But as long as we 'believe' in competition it will sabotage our ability to generate a culture of co-operation. Most of us learn to run our lives on the fuel of beliefs and belief systems.  We seldom realize beliefs are static entities within our consciousness that require forcing outwards and reaffirming through our attitudes and actions.  They tend to make our perceptions and behaviors rigid.  Beliefs can be challenged and therefore threatened so they often require the force of defensiveness.  Beliefs become our subtle attachments and they suppress our ability spark, energize and live our values.  Beliefs are what we 'think' is true (but don't 'know' is true) whereas values are what we 'care about' at any given moment.  In such moment we are 'being true'. When we attach our self to our beliefs, and the principles that we like to build out of our beliefs, we diminish our capacity to give, to care, for the other.  The 'belief' in caring is not the same as the actual caring that arises because we truly 'value' the other.  When caring is driven by the belief that's it's the right thing to do, it's more like a duty, it's a form of force.  Whereas power is the care that emerges from the natural intention to look after another for no reason other than you value them.  But if we care less just because we know the other holds a different set of beliefs that's the moment when the force of our attachment to belief overcomes the power of our capacity to value.  This is the essence of the tension between religions.  They appear to espouse the same values, which are powerful when they come through into action, but they sabotage all that by fighting over their differences in their beliefs.  Belief underlies force, whereas 'valuing' underpins power.  Not power over, or more powerful than, but the power of our consciousness when we access our innate wisdom to accept, embrace and care for all others, as they are, regardless of their beliefs. 8 The Shift from Survival to Service Are you here for your self or are you here to serve others?  Force will arise from the belief that life's purpose is survival.  It makes us turn life into a struggle and develop the spiritual weakness known as the emotion of fear.  Whereas, when life's purpose is one of 'service' then the intention and action of giving becomes the basis of our growth and the spiritual strength we refer to as love.   When that internal strength is real then survival ceases to be an issue. Why am I here?  Why are we all here? These are questions that may flit across most minds at some stage in life.  A few will seriously try to work out the meaning of life.  Many of us are taught to believe that life is basically a Darwinian struggle for the survival of the fittest.  We are indoctrinated in the 'me first' philosophy, the 'you better the look after number one' imperative, because it's a crazy and dangerous world out there!  So our default purpose becomes survival, as that's how we are taught to interpret our stay within the macrocosm of all life on planet earth.  So it seems to make sense to apply it to the microcosm of our own life.  What we don't notice is survival mode equals fear mode, which equals unhappiness mode, which means the meaning of life seems to be process of tolerating continuous unhappiness.   But it's not easy to see and join those dots. Our belief in survival as the purpose of life tends to ensures we isolate our self, if not within community, then in our own consciousness.   Then we perceive our life as a struggle to survive, as a striving to avoid not surviving.  Life becomes a survival course, which requires many moments of forcefulness in order to just keep going.   Some seem to realize that we are here to serve, to give, to help, to guide others.  As this realization dawns, survival becomes a non-issue.   To be of service is the make your self of value to others!  That's when you know your own value and life becomes more meaningful. That's why some people give up a materially comfortable lifestyle and head off to help those with lessor comfort.  They recognize the power that arises when they make the shift from survival into service.     Question:  Assuming we can all make all four of the above shifts which one do you sense you need to make the most right away?   Reflection:  What are your two most powerful beliefs that tell you that you are attempting to force your way through life?   Action:  Pick three more people you frequently see, recall the ways in which you behave towards them which are forceful, visualize what would be non-forceful and then practice in those relationships this coming week. DR.BK.SATYANARAYAN