How do you stop a Pakistani tank ?
>Shoot the men who are pushing it.
How do you disable Pakistani missiles ?
>Cut the rubber band.
Have you ever seen Pakistani war heroes ?
>Neither has Pakistan. Did you hear about the other latest Pakistani invention ?
>The new automatic parachutes. They open on impact. How do you sink a Pakistani battleship?
>Put it in water. Did you hear about the 747 jet which Crashed into a cemetery in Karachi ?
>The Pakistani officials have so far recovered 3000 bodies. Did you hear about the Pakistani admiral who had asked to be buried at sea?
>Five Pakistani sailors died digging his grave. Did you hear about the shutdown of the Karachi National Library ?
>Somebody stole the book. You're locked in a room with Saddam Hussein, Adolf Hitler, and a Pakistani. You have a gun with ONLY two bullets.What do you do?
>Shoot the Pakistani twice to make sure he's dead. What's brown and black and looks great on a Pakistani?
>A Doberman. How can you tell when a Pakistani is lying?
>His lips are moving. What do you have when a Pakistani is buried up to his neck in sand?
>Not enough sand. Did you Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of Pakistanis?
>He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met!!!!!!! *** Q : How do you save a drowning Pakistani?
A : Take your foot off his head!
This Sardar taxi driver in New York would amuse himself by running over Pakistanis he saw walking down the side of the road. Every time he would see a Pakistani walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him, and there would be a loud "THUMP" and then he would swerve back onto the road.
(At this point some of you are probably wondering how the Sardar could distinguish the Pakistanis from the humans. Obviously he saw the trail of slime they left...)
One day, as the taxi driver was driving along he saw a priest looking for a ride. He pulled the taxi over. He asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?" "I'm going to the church 5 miles down the road," replied the priest. "No problem, Father! I'll get you there. Get in." The happy priest climbed in and the taxi driver continued down the road.
Suddenly the Sardar saw a Pakistani walking down the road and instinctively he swerved to hit him. But then he remembered there was a priest in the car with him, so at the last minute he swerved back away, narrowly missing the Paki. However even though he was certain he missed the Paki, he still heard a loud "THUD".
Not understanding where the noise came from he glanced in his mirrors and when he didn't see anything, he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry Father. I almost hit that Pakistani" "That's okay", replied the priest. "I got him with the door!"
What do Pakistanis in London use for contracepives?
Their personalities!
For three years, the young Pakistani had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The last time he'd finally managed an affair with the innkeeper's daughter. Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her lap! "Helen, why didn't you write when you learned you were pregnant?" he cried."I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the baby would have my name!" "Well," she said, "When my folks found out about my condition, we sat up all night talkin' and talkin' and decided it would be better to have a bastard in the family than a Pakistani."
At a convention of biological scientists one researcher remarks to another, "Did you know that in our lab we have switched from rats to Pakistanis for our experiments?" "Really?" the other replied, "Why did you switch?" "Well, for three reasons. First we found that Pakistanis are far more plentiful, second, the lab assistants don't get so attached to them, and thirdly there are some things even a rat won't do. However, sometimes it very hard to exterpolate our test results to human beings."
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