<>_<>'Because I'm a man'<>_<>

 

 

 

<>_<>'Because  I'm a man'<>_<>

 

Because  I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will 

fiddle with a coat hanger  long after hypothermia has set in.   

Calling the AA is not an option. I will win. 

******************** 

Because  I'm a man , when  the car isn't running very well,  

I  will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know  what 

I'm looking at.  If  another man shows up, one of us will say   

to  the other, 'I used to be able to fix these things, but  now 

with all these computers and  everything, I wouldn't know   

where to start.'  We  will then drink a couple of beers  and 

break wind, as  a form of holy communion.   

********************_  

Because  I'm a man, when I  catch a cold, I need someone  

to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and   

moan.  You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do,  so 

for you, this  is no problem.   

********************_  

Because  I'm a man, I can  be relied upon to purchase basic  

groceries at the store, like  beer, milk or bread.  I cannot  be 

expected to  find exotic items like 'cumin' or 'tofu.'   

For  all I know, these are the same thing.   

********************_  

Because  I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops  

working, I will insist on  taking it apart, despite evidence  that 

this will just  cost me twice as much once the repair  person 

gets here and has to put it back together.   

********************_  

Because  I'm a man, I must hold the television remote  

control in my hand while I watch TV.  If the thing has  been 

misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for  it.....though 

one time I was  able to survive by holding a calculator..... 

( applies to  engineers  mainly).   

********************_  

Because  I'm a man, there  is no need to ask me what I'm  

thinking about. The true answer is always either sex, cars, 

sex, sports or sex.  I have to make up something else when 

you ask, so don't ask.   

********************_  

Because  I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or  

have your mother come visit  us, or talk to her when she   

calls, or think about her  any more than I have to. Whatever 

you got her for  Mother's Day is okay;  I don't need to see it. 

And don't  forget to pick up something for my mother, too.     

********************_  

Because  I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the  

movie.  Chances are, if  you're crying at the end of it, I  didn't 

...and if you  are feeling amorous afterwards..then I  will 

      certainly at least remember the name and  recommend it to others.    

********************_  

Because I'm a man, I think what you're  wearing is fine. I  

thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine,   

too. Either pair of  shoes is fine. With the belt or without  it, 

looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?   

********************_  

Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2011, I 

will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, 

the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, 

and I'll do the  rest...... Like wandering around in the  garden with a beer wondering what to do.

 This  has been a public service message for women to better understand men.  

 

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Posted by: Vipan <iamvipan@yahoo.com>

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