No Complaints
Have you ever heard of the expression, 'the squeaky wheel gets oiled?' 'Squeakers', or in other words, complainers, often get attended to because no one wants to listen to their constant whining. They make the loudest noise and therefore achieve results, but at what cost? Continuous whining or squeaking does not win friends.
Today's world is full of complainers. Some are justifiably seeking the resolution of an injustice, some are genuinely trying to make things better, but some just like to complain!
At the heart of a complaint is a grievance of some kind or another. Perhaps the shop sold us some faulty goods. Perhaps a work colleague is trying to bully us. These types of complaints will actually bear more fruit if we make them dispassionately, when the heat of the emotion has cooled down. It is also prudent to direct the complaint at the right person, rather than broadcasting it for anyone who wants to hear. This approach takes self-respect and a certain amount of detachment, but a cool head, rather than a heart filled with fury, is certainly the more effective approach.
Some people seem to make complaining a hobby. The dissatisfaction in this case stems from within; when we don't feel good inside we project this into the outside world, and onto others. If I am not happy with myself then I will never be happy with what's going on around me. So check: am I a complainer? If so, it is a good indication that I have some more inner work to do. When I feel good from inside, then the 'reason' for most of my complaints may just magically disappear! Then people will find me much more pleasant to be around.
It's no surprise that we are put off by complaints; on the surface they don't sound very constructive and when directed at us can make us feel annoyed, angry, resentful or hopeless. We don't often receive them well. We strive day and night to make our world picture perfect but don't always succeed, so when others complain about us, or the way we do things, we can feel resentful, inadequate or insecure.
Handling complaints from others is an art, and rather than trying to deflect them, or reject them, we may do better to reflect on them. When someone is complaining it is usually because they feel that their vision of the end result is better than ours, or they feel the need to correct us because they feel we have strayed from our own vision. In the heat of the moment when words are spoken passionately, the focus on the vision or the end result unfortunately gets lost. We tend to project most of our energy in protecting ourselves, rather than trying to understand the real reason for it. "Well, it's not my fault. I have done all that I can, what more can I do?" We can often take it personally; we shrivel up inside, and wonder: "What's the point?"
We don't recognize that, if we could only step back from our emotional response for a moment, we could perhaps gain an understanding of what the complainer is really reflecting back to us.
Firstly, stay calm. It may not be personal; it may just be someone channeling their inner frustration on the person closest to. Secondly, treat the complainer with respect. Sometimes a complaint is a plea from the heart, the complainer just wants to feel 'heard'. Thirdly, is there any foundation to this complaint? If I have the humility to admit that there is, then this is a good lesson for me, enabling me to address a weakness that I may not have seen in myself before.
It's time… to complain less and listen more. Try to understand the others point of view as you would like them to understand yours. Realize that the squeaks and groans are an opportunity in disguise, signaling you to compassion and self-respect, and helping you to proactively 'oil' the wheels of your own self-growth.
Your Divine Friend
DR.BK.Satyanarayan
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Enjoy your stay at Rukhsana Group.
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Moderators Rukhsana Group:
Kazakhstani1303 & Mumtaz Ali.
Contact us at: kazakhstani1303@gmail.com
Rukhsana-owner@yahoogroups.com
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**********************************
Moderators Rukhsana Group:
Kazakhstani1303 & Mumtaz Ali.
Contact us at: kazakhstani1303@gmail.com
Rukhsana-owner@yahoogroups.com
**********************************
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