<>_<>JOKES<>_<>
Catholic Dog
Muldoon lived alone in the Irish countryside with only a pet dog for
company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and
asked, 'Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor
creature?'
company. One day the dog died, and Muldoon went to the parish priest and
asked, 'Father, my dog is dead. Could ya' be saying' a mass for the poor
creature?'
Father Patrick replied, 'I'm afraid not; we cannot have services for an
animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's
no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature.'
animal in the church. But there are some Baptists down the lane, and there's
no tellin' what they believe. Maybe they'll do something for the creature.'
Muldoon said, 'I'll go right away Father. Do ya' think $5,000 is enough to
donate to them for the service?'
donate to them for the service?'
Father Patrick exclaimed, 'Sweet Mary, Mother of Jesus! Why didn't ya tell
me the dog was Catholic?
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me the dog was Catholic?
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Donation
Father O'Malley answers the phone. 'Hello, is this Father O'Malley?'
'It is!'
'This is the IRS. Can you help us?'
'I can!'
'Do you know a Ted Houlihan?'
'I do!'
'Is he a member of your congregation?'
'He is!'
'Did he donate $10,000 to the church?'
'He will.'
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Senility
An elderly man went to his doctor and said, 'Doc, I think I'm getting
senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up.' 'That's not
senility,' replied the doctor. 'Senility is when you forget to zip down.'
.................
senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up.' 'That's not
senility,' replied the doctor. 'Senility is when you forget to zip down.'
.................
Pest Control
A woman was having a passionate affair with an Irish inspector from a
pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom
together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly.
pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom
together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly.
'Quick,' said the woman to the lover, 'into the closet!' and she pushed him
in the closet, stark naked.
in the closet, stark naked.
The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search of the bedroom
discovered the man in the closet. 'Who are you?' he asked him.
discovered the man in the closet. 'Who are you?' he asked him.
'I'm an inspector from Bugs-B-Gone,' said the exterminator.
'What are you doing in there?' the husband asked.
'What are you doing in there?' the husband asked.
'I'm investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths,' the man
replied.
replied.
'And where are your clothes?' asked the husband.
The man looked down at himself and said, 'Those little bastards! '
............
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Marriage Humor
Wife: 'What are you doing?'
Husband: Nothing.
Wife: 'Nothing . . . ? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an
hour.'
hour.'
Husband: 'I was looking for the expiration date.'
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Wife : 'Do you want dinner?'
Husband: 'Sure! What are my choices?'
Wife: 'Yes or no.'
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________________________________
A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father
hadn't left me a fortune?'
hadn't left me a fortune?'
'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, NO MATTER WHO
LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'
LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!'
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A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my
sexy body?'
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humor!'
..........................................
Husbands are husbands
A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head
with a frying pan.
'What was that for?' the man asked.
The wife replied , 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on
it that I found in your pants pocket.
The man then said 'When I was at the races last week, Jenny was the name of
the horse I bet on.'
The wife apologized and went on with the housework. Three days later the man
is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger
frying pan, knocking him unconscious.
Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.
Wife replied. 'Your horse phoned'
..........................
with a frying pan.
'What was that for?' the man asked.
The wife replied , 'That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on
it that I found in your pants pocket.
The man then said 'When I was at the races last week, Jenny was the name of
the horse I bet on.'
The wife apologized and went on with the housework. Three days later the man
is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger
frying pan, knocking him unconscious.
Upon re-gaining consciousness the man asked why she had hit again.
Wife replied. 'Your horse phoned'
..........................
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Enjoy your stay at Rukhsana Group.
**********************************
Moderators Rukhsana Group:
Kazakhstani1303 & Mumtaz Ali.
Contact us at: kazakhstani1303@gmail.com
Rukhsana-owner@yahoogroups.com
**********************************
**********************************
Moderators Rukhsana Group:
Kazakhstani1303 & Mumtaz Ali.
Contact us at: kazakhstani1303@gmail.com
Rukhsana-owner@yahoogroups.com
**********************************
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