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Humorscope~Thursday, July 05, 2012
Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a person to do such a thing is please not to read notis.
In a Tokyo hotel
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You will have a grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup for lunch, and will receive a phone call from a man named "Sven", but who tells you his name is something else. Don't believe him for a second. He will be very impressed that you knew his actual name.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You will invent a new sort of optical illusion today, involving 6 straight lines, an assortment of blobs, and a picture of an iguana. Everyone will gasp in amazement.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
A man will be passing by when you suddenly recall a hilarious Monty Python skit, and you'll burst out laughing. Later, you'll notice him anxiously looking at himself in a mirror.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
That rash should clear up soon, Bob. Oh stop worrying. I won't tell anyone.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
A careless delivery person will drop an entire case of pills when you are in a pharmacy, today. Did you know that nitroglycerin is still used, sometimes, in the treatment of heart disease?
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
E-coli. It's what's for dinner!
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Good day to bring home a bag or two of live bugs.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
You will write a newspaper article about the Internet today. Why not? Everybody else has.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Strange things continue to happen. Today you will put on a long-sleeved shirt, only to discover that the sleeves now extend past your fingertips. You didn't say anything inappropriate to an elderly British gentleman with strange green eyes, recently? Let's hope not.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
You will invent a new type of lingerie, and will make millions. The stripes are the key to your success. You will call it "Ze Bra".
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
If you love someone, let them go. If you hate someone, grab 'em and hang on like a dog with a stick. Snarl a bit, too -- that's always fairly effective.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
In a rather bizarre and unfortunate turn of events today, your lips will go ballistic. Shortly thereafter, your Ziggy Marley accent will kick in. You will be comforted to know that those are simply the first two signs of a "spaz attack", which is more common than most people realize, and usually non-fatal.
Rose!
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