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HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD.    

 

WELL . . . YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE.    

 

MY NAME IS ALICE , AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST.

 

I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA ON THE WALL, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME. SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 40 - ODD YEARS AGO.

 

COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?

 

UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.

 

THIS BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE.

 

AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGH SCHOOL ...

 

'YES. YES, I DID. I'M A MUSTANG,' HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE.

 

WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?' I ASKED.

 

HE ANSWERED, 'IN 1967.. WHY DO YOU ASK?'

 

YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!', I EXCLAIMED.

 

HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.

 

THEN, THAT UGLY,

 

OLD,

 

BALD,

 

WRINKLED FACED,

 

FAT-ASSED,

 

GRAY-HAIRED,

 

DECREPIT

 

SON-OF-A-BITCH

 

ASKED,

 

'WHAT DID YOU TEACH???

 

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