<>_<>ZODIAK FUN<>_<>
WeDnesday, March 28, 2012
There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it.
George Bernard Shaw
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You will discover what Shakespeare actually meant, when he wrote "Hey nonny, nonny", in Much Ado About Nothing. It turns out that it was simply in-field chatter that somehow made it into the play, and that Shakespeare not only enjoyed softball, but was a reasonably good shortstop.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
You are about to invent a night light in the shape of a chess piece, which you will name the "Nighty Knight." You should be ashamed of yourself.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
You've been a little down lately, and it's time to snap out of it! You've got to smell the roses while there's time, since you're not going to live forever. Which is good, since you're already seeing hair in funny places...
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
You will discover the secret to becoming a great artist! You can stick anything you want on the wall, the trick is to make people think deep thought went into it. For example, spray-paint a bathroom plunger gold, and stick little angel wings on it. Call it "Life In The Details."
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
It's time for you to consider being kinder to your feet. And stop taking them for granted! For example, when's the last time you sat down and had a nice friendly chat with them? Do it today!
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
Good time to go into business making measuring spoons. Good ones to start with would be a "smidgeon" and a "pinch."
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
You'll become best pals with a large invisible rabbit, today. Well, actually he's a "puka", which is a type of Celtic spirit, but he'll look like a large invisible rabbit.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Someone named "Bob" is plotting to whap you with a calla lily. If you carry long-stemmed carnations around with you today, you will be able to retaliate swiftly and effectively.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)
Good day to do crossword puzzles in the park. Life is short enough, without letting it get you all stressed out like that.
Capricorn (December 22 - January 20)
Despite protests from a variety of organizations, you will organize a charity event called a "squid fling". Due in part to excellent media coverage, you will be quite successful. Mostly, though, you will succeed because nearly everyone has a secret desire to fling a squid.
Aquarius (January 21 - February 18)
Excellent time for you to reconsider your choice of employment. Are you working towards a specific goal, or are you merely drifting? Are you temperamentally suited to your current career? Remember: money isn't everything. It could well be that you'd be much happier in a job where you could dress up as a giant chicken. In fact, in your case, that's virtually certain.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
This may be a little late, but heck, late is better than never. You know when they said to shop naked? They meant shopping on-line...
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